No Stress, No Mess

Hello Space Invaders,

Ever wonder why your house is messy. I found from personal experience that it has a lot do with post- breakups. I know, I know, this is not based on some study. A lot of you humanoids get sloppy after a bad break-up. After a few months, you continue to be sloppy and stop caring.

Some of you don't remember the last time you were neat or organized ( yes there is a difference ladies and gentleman). Some of you don't even remember being clean at all ( most of you guys never were, lol) .

Here are some tips to moving on and getting better!

1) Find his or her pictures and burn them into the infinite abyss: that's right! I said burn. Well, metaphorically speaking. I mean take all of their stuff and throw it away. Even letters and pictures. You start to feel like the house is getting lighter.

2) Buy a new bedding: I really cannot stress this enough. Vibes of the old relationship in the sheets is not good for sleep. And anyway, it was time for new sheets.

3) Take St. Johns Worts ! The pills are awesome for healing your depressive state. It comes from a plant called hypericum and the properties in that plant are known to treat mild depression. You can also take it in tea form as well. This will relax you. ( St. John's Wort is also known to decrease alcohol intake because of another property found in the plant called hyperforin).

4. Give your apartment a gift: Your apartment is your keeper. It has witnessed every relationship you had been through. Treat it like you would treat a friend. Remember the day you moved in? It's called an anniversary! Give your apartment a nice vase, a cool picture frame, an expensive candle holder, and/ or cool magnets when that day arrives (after the lease is signed).

5) A cleaner you say?: Yes, a cleaner. Getting one after you accomplished 1-4 will help you stay focus on your road to redemption. Who else will know the situation better than Rocket Maid?

I hope you space invaders treat the planet earth good today! Remember recycle :)

Rocket Maid is signing off...

Don Imus's Wife Started Eco- Friendly Cleaning Products

Dear Space Invaders,

I do not like Don Imus. Not only
because he's a racist putz, but because his radio show was boring.

Then I tried Imus's Cleaning the Greening products. The product is really good, especially on granite and glass. The Imus name did not ring a bell at all. I just never figured that Don Imus would care about the environment and assumed it was another person with the Imus name. Then with some research, I found out it was his wife, Deirdre Imus, who established the "Cleaning the Greening" products and programs. She believes that the dangerous chemicals in cleaning products causes illnesses, such as cancer, in children and adults. (She is the founder of the Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology)

A more controversial issue is the debate over vaccinations. A survey conducted by Generation Rescue shows how children who have vaccinations early, risk having "neurological disorders" vs. children that don't vaccinate early. Read more at http://www.dienviro.com. I assure you, it's an interesting read.

What a dilemma Rocket Maid must face, should I use this product. Well, the good news is that there are plenty of green cleaning products that I can choose from.

Rocket Maid signing off!

Galaxy Enemy #1

See Them? This the deadliest army that enemy dirt has concocted. When they see the Rocket Maid crew, they not only hide, they die!

What are tips that you can do at home to get started in the fight against the Dust Mite Army .

1. Dust mites generally live and breed in your pillows. Replace them every six months. People who have acne should replace their pillow case every 2 days so that they can begin healing their skin. Dust mites live inside your pillows and feed off your dead skin cells.

2. Please buy mattress encasings. They prevent from dust mite allergens. They also prevent the dust mite's evil cousin, bed bugs inside your bed. They also make encasings for pillows as well.

3.Your pets carry dander that attracts dust mites. Please wash your pets every week. Pick a day and stick with it, that way your pet knows after a couple months that it's routine. Cats carry more dander than dogs. If your cat can't stand the water at all, please buy moist packets that is used specifically for washing cat's fur. If people are allergic to cats and/or dogs, it's the dander, and it usually connects to dust mites that feed off the dander and humans get an allergic reaction from them, not animals.

4.Buy HEPA filter vacuums that won't let dust particles escape through the back of the vacuum. The two vacuums in the market that claim to be superior machines are Miele ($700) and Nilfisk ($1,095).

(I am dying to buy the Nilfisk vacuum).

5. You can buy an air filter. Please make sure that your house is clean before operating an air filter so that allergens don't roam around your apartment. It's also good for people who are allergic to animals.

Dust mites are very small (microscopic). But that being said, they can be harmful to your lungs and cause asthma. Washing your sheets once a week and putting it in the dryer over 150 degrees will destroy them all. Your skin will no longer itch anymore. For people who have adult acne, watch it go away.

So if you suspect The Dust Mite Army invading your space, call Rocket Maid. A once- a - week cleaning is a permanent solution to killing them off for good.

top 5 maids in movies

Hello Space Invaders,

I miss you guys! I have been very busy and I would like to thank the following planets that pay for the Rocket Maid /Rocket ship fuel:

• West Village
• East Village
  
• Williamsburg/Graham Ave
• Chelsea

Lower East Side, you disappoint me. :( Step up and show the other planets you hate enemy dirt and commander grime.

To celebrate Maids in Hollywood movies, here are my top 5 Maid movies

5. That Funny Feeling starring Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee 1965

Great movie! Bobby Darin plays a wealthy business man named Tom Milford who meets cute blonde Joan Howell (played by sweet tooth icon Sandra Dee) at a cool swanky bar in NYC. They have chemistry, sexual innuendos galore, and wit matching that only entices Tom to ask Joan to go upstairs. But which upstairs? She lives in a teeny tiny apartment with another maid and instead leads him to an apartment that belongs to a wealthy business man that she cleans for. Hmmm?! This apartment looks very familiar to him. If the archaic 1960's man vs. woman crappola doesn't cut it, then check out NYC at it's finest before the 1970's ruins it for the next 30 years.






4. Blue Crush Starring Kate Bosworth and Michelle Rodriguez, 2002

What a great movie centered around three surfer girls from Hawaii who are chamber maids in order to make ends meet. It's more of a surfer flick, but Michelle Rodriguez say's the best line when she enters a hotel room full of fecal matter and vomit " Awww... that's freakin' nasty.." classic.






3. Friends with Money starring Jennifer Aniston and everybody else, 2004

Jennifer Aniston plays a great part in this ensemble cast of rich women from California, one wealthier than the next. Her name is Olivia and she's a housekeeper and keeps houses in affluent neighborhoods in California. Her struggle to keep up with her friends who can buy Lancome face products without blinking while she collects samples from store to store made me love her character. The way she negotiates prices, her delayed reactions to situations, and her friends who secretly frown upon her poverty makes this one of my favorite movies of all times.




2. Spanglish starring Paz Vega, Adam Sandler, Tea Leoni and Cloris Leachman, 2004

I have to say that the film was delicate about the matter of immigration and single motherhood. The character Flor, played by Paz Vega, was determined to give her daughter a better environment and moved from Mexico to East L.A. After a few years working the night shift in the cleaners, she decides to get a job during the daytime. She accepts a job as a housekeeper in the nice part of California to a neurotic W.A.S.P. woman named Deb (Tea Leoni) and her passively confused husband John (Adam Sandler). This movie wasn't depressing at all. But it did touch the issue of class and race with a hint of romance with you-know-who's?!





1. Maid in Manhattan starring Jennifer Lopez and Ralph Fiennes, 2003
I love this movie! It's the first movie J.lo played a Puerto Rican from the Bronx. Ralph Fiennes was great at playing the would be senator, Chris Marshall, heir to a political empire, sort of like John Kennedy.
The ending was a bit corny, but I thought it was a sweet film about a woman who happened to be a Maid and her struggle to climb the ladder of an industry that hires people from the outside.

Trivia: The role was originally written for Julia Roberts, but she didn't want to make another cinderella story, so she offered to produce it through her Red Om production company and approached Jennifer for the role. Jennifer is a huge fan of John Hughes, who wrote the story for the film. She wanted her character to be Latina and hail from the Bronx. The male romantic lead character was supposed to be an aristocrat from Europe. I guess they scrapped that too.





By the way, these movies are unrealistic. We maids all die to look like any of these ladies!

Rocket Maid signing off!

Products that hurt the Earth, but it's damn good!

Hello Space Invaders,

I have come to a point where I face a problem. The problem is really sad. The earth is hurting. I think it's because of companies like Clorox, Colgate-Palmolive, SC Johnson and Son.

Are they really hurting the environment? I can't get access to one of the companies ingredients for all of their products. Maybe it's to protect from other companies who want to steal from them?

I did a little research on SC Johnson and Son. They carry the best products around. Fantastik is number one. It cleans well, but I have to wear a mask when I use it because I can feel the product seeping into my lungs (just like how it feels when you've swallowed massive amounts of chlorine water in the swimming pool). It makes me sneeze too.

I really like their products. They are one of the first leading brand cleaning companies to have partnered with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s Design for the Environment program in 2005.

To read more about SC Johnson's enviroment crusades and other philanthropic commitments, I give you the link to their website: http://www.scjohnson.com/community/environment.asp#
(They even have hard to find products section).

Ajax has one product that gets rid of the rustic bathtub stain even better than some of the SC Johnson's stuff. It's that powdered devil in a canister, AJAX powder cleanser with bleach. I know this stuff is bad for you but I assure you that it works. I only use it when a person's bathtub was never ever cleaned (move-outs). Colgate-Palmolive company are the giants behind Murphy's Oil, Suavitel fabric softner, and of course Colgate tooth paste and Palmolive dishwashing soap.
http://www.colgate.com/app/Colgate/US/HC/Products/HouseholdCleaners/Name.cvsp

In Spanish, when we say bleach, we say "cloro". No, I'm not kidding. Their marketing is one of the best I've seen in a long time. There is a commercial with a little girl in the bathtub going under water and imagining herself as a mermaid. The girl then hears the beckoning of her mother's call to come out of the bathtub. You think it's a Walt Disney commercial, but it's Clorox bleach. It almost makes me want to buy their new line... almost.

Some environmentalist's say bleach is safe to use, some don't. But I use liquid bleach to mop linoleum floors (use a buffer to add shine). It's economic and the real true ingredient in the other cleaning products. To learn more about the #1 ingredient Rocket Maid uses to fight Alien dirt and Commander grime, go here: http://www.clorox.com/health_truth_about_bleach.php

You thought I would mention Comet because I'm Rocket Maid. In a perfect world that would be true but I have not tried the product yet. I'll let you know how that turns out.

I hope this helped all of you space invaders. I've got to re-fuel! see yaaa!

*** please note: Rocket Maid is in no way affiliated with any of these companies. She is really giving her opinion through personal experiences only. Rocket Maid receives no pocket change from these giants. Rocket Maid is still using a single man rocket ship.***

How to treat your rocket maid cleaner

Hello Space Invaders.

Here are 6 etiquette tips to treat a cleaner. First time getting one is tricky so don't worry.

1. When you call, Be nice: It's not you doing the interviewing, she/he is also doing the interviewing. Be sure that you are polite so can get your questions answered. Some cleaning companies are very attached to their cleaners because they are good and it's hard to find them, like any company. If you treat them bad or make theme feel uncomfortable when they are there, they will complain to the owner and you will be out of the loop. If you hire a ronin cleaner, the same will happen.

2. Setting the appointment: It is always best to schedule a cleaning when it is best for you. Weekends are prime for cleaners. Make an appointment a week in advance so you can lock it in. Once you meet the cleaner and feel like you can trust she/he, then you can decide whether or not you can leave them alone during the week with a key.

3. Making the Choice: Certain companies have options. Some charge for changing bed linens, even wiping chrome fixtures. Others charge for grout cleaning. Look for the most basic plan that charges by the number of rooms. No guessing games makes the calculation easy and you won't feel ripped off.

4. Comfort Zone: The face of cleaning is changing. More and more people from all walks of life are getting into the business of organizing and cleaning. The international sect still holds the crown, of course. Now there are college students, former executives, men, women, etc.
People are choosing to do this as a job, which means that you don't have to feel "bad" for hiring someone to clean you apartment. To clean is a skill.

5. Payment: Cash is friend. It's a hand to fist business so cash is king.
Tipping is good if you feel that the cleaner stood longer than usual. But never ever pay under the price intended. It leaves a bad taste.

6. No Racism: You cannot prefer a certain cleaner based on race or ethnic background. If you are a woman and prefer a woman and not a man, then it's understandable. But if you are basing it on race, then don't bother hiring a cleaner. Like I said before, the face of cleaning is changing, but the majority is lead by immigrants so please be tolerant.

I hope this helps you humanoid. Until then, Catch Rocket Maid soon.

Tips for Organizing Your Black Hole

Hello Space Invaders,

Your space is supposed to be sacred and clean. But you can't manage to get things clean, beyond that, you can't help organize your things in order. Here's a tip that works every time: Make time!

( Although there are two distinct views on the meaning of time, but we will assume that I'm talking about Linear time).

1. Time is on your side: make time to say " Hey, I'm a failure..." and plan on the attack. What part of the room does it make you feel like turning the galaxy gun unto yourself? That is where you start.

2. It helps if you remove items from the floor. Your clothes should be put into the hamper. Take it to the Milky Way laundry place so they can wash it for you. Believe it or not, it's cheaper then doing it yourself. No more buying soap. Do it every Tuesday. I dunno' why Tuesday... but do it! I'm your commander!

3. Throw it out! For the love of Luke Skywalker, our lord and savior, throw out that 1997 Rolling Stone mag of Aerosmith's comeback issue. We are a cloned inter-galactic race that cannot be stopped. I can see our ancestor's melting in their freezer-coffin. Throw out everything that you feel you can live without. Donate clothes to a shelter of androids, they need it more than you. Get into the habit of giving. Your reward, a tax-deductable note. Be honest with your self, the planet doesn't need more stuff.

4. Order, not Choas. Once you do #3, you'll see your black hole turning into a far-out galaxy. What is your budget? Jack's world 99 cents store has some amazing organizing tools. You can find storage boxes, shelves, and hangers. They cost between $6- $12 dollars.