Saturday, June 2, 2007

Tips for Organizing Your Black Hole

Hello Space Invaders,

Your space is supposed to be sacred and clean. But you can't manage to get things clean, beyond that, you can't help organize your things in order. Here's a tip that works every time: Make time!

( Although there are two distinct views on the meaning of time, but we will assume that I'm talking about Linear time).

1. Time is on your side: make time to say " Hey, I'm a failure..." and plan on the attack. What part of the room does it make you feel like turning the galaxy gun unto yourself? That is where you start.

2. It helps if you remove items from the floor. Your clothes should be put into the hamper. Take it to the Milky Way laundry place so they can wash it for you. Believe it or not, it's cheaper then doing it yourself. No more buying soap. Do it every Tuesday. I dunno' why Tuesday... but do it! I'm your commander!

3. Throw it out! For the love of Luke Skywalker, our lord and savior, throw out that 1997 Rolling Stone mag of Aerosmith's comeback issue. We are a cloned inter-galactic race that cannot be stopped. I can see our ancestor's melting in their freezer-coffin. Throw out everything that you feel you can live without. Donate clothes to a shelter of androids, they need it more than you. Get into the habit of giving. Your reward, a tax-deductable note. Be honest with your self, the planet doesn't need more stuff.

4. Order, not Choas. Once you do #3, you'll see your black hole turning into a far-out galaxy. What is your budget? Jack's world 99 cents store has some amazing organizing tools. You can find storage boxes, shelves, and hangers. They cost between $6- $12 dollars.